Friday, July 27, 2007
konichiwa, bitches!
I am sitting in Matt and Roy's living room. I am champion dog/cat/apartment-sitter. It is also really, really hot in here. It is slowly cooling off, and so am I. Also of note: Cesar will be here in a little while. Like, he will have moved here. For reals. And I am beyond excited about this.
So apparently I was "tagged" by nycrouge. I have no idea what that means, quite frankly. But I was! So I read up and now I know what that all means and basically, there are rules, and I shall follow them:
So. There's that. And here's my 8 Random Carly Fun Facts (there is no theme, other than ME and my innate randomness):
Random Fact the First:
I have an obsession with sunglasses. Giant, plastic, inexpensive sunglasses, to be specific. I have way too many. I also have some metal ones, most are aviators. But the giant plastic ones are hard to beat. All of mine average out to about $8 each, which is great for when I lose/break them. Usually I have a friend with me to talk me down from buying ones that are completely idiotic-looking, but today, when I went to get lunch at St. Mark's, I caved and bought this awesome pair that I've been eyeing all week:

Clearly no one was with me to say, "um, those are ridiculous." You will notice that there is no photo of me actually wearing my new glasses, and this is because the only phrase to describe me right now is "hot mess," and hot messes should not be photographed (unless they are random people you see on the subway or passing by, then it's fine).
Random Fact the Second:
I have no tattoos or piercings (not even my ears). I like to think of it like this: had my parents taken me to get my ears pierced when I was too young to know any better (as they did with my sister), I'd have them pierced. But they didn't, so I don't. Lately, however, I have been toying with the notion of getting a tattoo (probs on my right forearm). I'm open to suggestions, as I can't seem to make up my mind.
Random Fact the Third:
I have this weird obsession with turning my mouth blue, I have since I was a kid. If there is an opportunity to turn my mouth blue (like a blue lollipop or whatever), and I don't take that opportunity, I will like, go crazy, I think. I don't really know, cause I've never let myself find out. I think it's related to my OCD.
Random Fact the Fourth:
I can memorize stuff pretty quickly. Like movie quotes, entire films (Empire Records, Clueless, etc.), TV shows (The Office, etc.), and comic strips. For instance, I can recite this Calvin & Hobbes passage entirely from memory:
Attention! All Rise! This meeting of G.R.O.S.S.Random Fact the Fifth:
Is now called to order by the great grandiose
Dictator-For-Life, the ruler supreme
The fearless, the brave, the held-high-in-esteem,
Calvin the Bold! Yes, stand up and hail
His humbleness now! May his wisdom prevail!
Three cheers for First Tiger and El Presidente,
Hobbes, the delight of all cognoscenti!
He's savvy! He has a prodigious IQ,
And lots of panache, as all tigers do!
In his fancy chapeau, he's a leader with taste!
May his orders be heeded and his views be embraced!
Many of my skills I acquired via teaching myself. For instance: playing guitar, video editing, Photoshop, html, and raising my right eyebrow (I trained myself to do the one, then got bored and never did the other one). I'm a very logical person, like if there's something I want to know more about, I'll research it. This almost proved to backfire in high school. Once I thought I "might be gay" (suuuure), I started researching all sorts of gay culture and whatnot online. Bear in mind, this was back in like, '97 or '98, so there wasn't nearly as much online as there is today. There also was no WIKIPEDIA, although I don't really want to know what Wikipedia has to say about being gay. After my research, I was like, "yup, totes gay." Then I thought "what if my research MADE ME GAY!?" and then I realized that that was completely retarded. Then Brandi Chastain ripped her shirt off after scoring the winning goal in the World Cup and I was like, "nope, had nothing to do with the internet, I am a total lez."
Random Fact the Sixth:
One of my exes tried to strangle me in a bar once. This occurred: 1) after we broke up and were trying to "be friends," and 2) while all of my friends were either getting more drinks or in the bathroom. In retrospect it is hilarious, but at the time I was like "damn! she ruined my new shirt!" Needless to say, we are currently not friends.
Random Fact the Seventh:
I was going to save this for when-thefuck-ever I decide to finish the list of reasons why I am awesome, but I will tell this story now, because it is Really Incredible. So my high school was kinda weird, and in my English classes our teachers would always have us do "artistic interpretations" of books/plays we'd read in class, instead of like, reports or papers. So that was awesome, less writing for me. And I completely exploited this assignment, always. I actually won the "most creative English projects" (or something else along those lines, they made it up anyway) at my senior awards lunch. I usually made videos (the story of the Puritans, as told through Legos, or The Yellow Wallpaper, which included a behind-the-scenes making of featurette wherein I played all of the parts, natch) or did ridiculous in-class presentations (Kafka's In The Penal Colony and Our Town, as told through sock puppets). The most ridiculous/awesome of which was my speech from Hamlet.
To fully appreciate this story you have to understand that this was near the end of senior year, and I was pretty much Over School at this point. On the day in question, I had two presentations due. One was in Latin (4 years of honors Latin, what what!?), wherein I had to wear a toga and give a speech like I was running for public office (I think I was running for Quaestor, but I can't be certain). The night before, I couldn't find any white sheets at our hours (and most Romans didn't wear white anyway) so I brought a pale yellow sheet in. I gave my Latin presentation that morning, then shoved the sheet in my locker and tried desperately to memorize my second presentation of the day, a speech by Hamlet's father. You might recall that his father is a ghost throughout the play. I chose the ghost because of Eddie Izzard, whom I was obsessed with at the time. During his show Dress To Kill he does this bit about the Holy Ghost, wandering around and moaning, "holy ghost, holy ghooooost" over and over again (it's much funnier when he does it. Maybe it's on youtube?). So I chose the Ghost Dad simply because if I couldn't memorize it in time (which I wouldn't), then at least I could entertain the class by skulking around and moaning like Eddie Izzard. It was foolproof.
So having to do the Latin presentation the night before required me to have no time to memorize Hamlet. I had 30 lines, and wrote them all on index cards. English was our last class of the day and my teacher asked if anyone didn't do the assignment. Myself and one other girl raised our hands, defeated. But I totes didn't care, I had already gotten into college. What difference did any of this make? So all of my friends presented, they did really well, whatevs. Finally everyone had presented, and my teacher asked if anyone else had to go. Suddenly, I had a Brill Idea. I said I wanted to present, that I had been joking about being unprepared, and that I had to go to my locker to get my prop. You see where this is going, right?
I grabbed the sheet, threw it over my head, and presented the damn thing. I stood in front of the class, "in character" (read: sheet over my head, which looked somewhat like this), and read the notecards from under said sheet. It was amazing. And all my friends totally figured it out, immediately. The only person who didn't, somehow, was my teacher. So I read the whole damn thing, even pausing to sound like I was trying to remember my lines every now and then, even pausing to SCRATCH MY HEAD as if I was reeeeally trying hard to remember at one point. As I finished, I tucked the cards into my cargo pocket (cause I was a big ol' closeted dyke and all, so cargo pants were the norm) and started to lift the sheet. And that's when I saw one of my friends crouched down in front of me, moments from pulling the sheet off and giving the whole thing away.
And to this day? I have no idea if my English teacher had any idea. I'd really like to go and ask her. One of these days ...
Random Fact the Eighth:
Maybe you haven't heard, but Riese and I wrote a fucking brill TV pilot, and we need people to help us get it produced! So if you yourself are (or you know anyone who is) employed by HBO or any other major networks, or you have a bunch of money to invest, or you're an amazing actor/crewperson, please let us know ASAP. Global domination is like, weeks away, I can feel it.
BONUS!! You can read a list of 100 things you'd never care to know/ask about me on my myspace, as I have recently made it un-private. Once again, we'll see how long this lasts.
Oh! I almost forgot! I tag:
- This Girl Called Automatic Win
- What Does That Even Mean?
- Roy Speaking
- Peep*Blog
- Disappear Here
- Diminishing Returns
- Suuuuuuuzy
- Life Is Moments / Endings Don't Exist
Labels: high school, lists, living it out, randomness
posted by carlytron @ 11:01 PM,
12 Comments:
- At 7/28/2007 9:37 AM, Razia said...
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I came over to see what all this tagging stuff was, it's a great marketing ploy btw. Anyway, so I'm reading as per usual and BAM! A photo of the sunnies that I bought while drunk at a festival in Sydney, except the red lines are white. I think I have a photo somewhere. You have great taste in glasses.
- At 7/28/2007 10:39 AM, Bailey said...
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diggin your shades.
- At 7/28/2007 2:10 PM, said...
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I have exactly the same sunglasses addiction. Seriously, I look forward to summer because it means I can (kind of) justify gradually purchasing all the glorious and oversized sunglasses within a 20 mile radius. Like you I only buy cheap ones, though I don't really think that saves me too much money as it just means I buy more. This addiction is particularly unfortunate seeing as I live in England, where apparently the sun doesn't shine any more. Have you guys heard about the floods?!
x x x x
P.S. Cannot WAIT for the tv show :) - At 7/28/2007 6:26 PM, said...
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i like to think that lists about yourself lead to enlightenment - if you kep writing and the same thing comes up more than once it must be true.
I started a list like yours once -got to about 300 things except when i read over them there were more than a few mutually exclusive points so i gave up on the idea.
re: MySpace - private is good. firstly because there are so many friend-hungry crazies out there secondly because it keeps pepole guessing, which obviously makes you more cool, especially when you have a blog too. people would be like 'what am i missing out on here?'. what am i missing out on here?... - At 7/28/2007 7:04 PM, Crystal said...
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I think forearm tattoos are hot. Ever since I saw Bring It On, I have wanted one. The only thing I can offer up is - don't get one you'll regret. That sounds obvious, sure, but it's a lesson I never learned. On the brighter side, I'm discovering they can be removed easily.
I read your myspace list, very impressive. I won't ramble on, because I should do this on your myspace. But if I were on your myspace, I would be giving Kudos to 058, and may borrow this point of interest for when I have to do this thing taggy thing myself, because I'm struggling. Maybe even 2x kudos. - At 7/28/2007 11:13 PM, riese said...
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it seems like with our mutual talent for intense/creative class presentations, that surely we could wow HBO with a lot of glitter glue, some video tricks, and a good soundtrack? Yeah? Also, I kept thinking "Oh! I know what I'm going to comment about this!," e.g., "I like how you're not IN the photo of your sunglasses because you didn't like your hair that day" or "not when you get that forearm tattoo!" but then you kept going and saying what I was going to say in the next line, leaving me speechless, per always.
Also, "lez"="brill"
(also, title of a relevant fourfour blogpost some years back="lez go!") - At 7/30/2007 7:59 PM, usersarobot said...
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it would be a vicious circle if i tagged you but alas you are the only blog i know of that dosen't suck. I will do the 8 random thingies but i can't really finish.
Am I fired? - At 7/31/2007 11:10 AM, elec-tri-city said...
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As a HS English teacher, I'd really like to think that your teacher caught on-- however, now knowing teachers as I do, there is a really good chance that she didn't.
Personally, I'd be excited that my student bothered to do their work. Because, you know, NONE OF MINE DO! But it's summer, so screw 'em.
Tag noted; will be completed when I conjure up enough randomness. And that shouldn't be as hard as I think it is. - At 8/10/2007 5:49 PM, lawlaws said...
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I just stumbled over here from riese's blog, and I couldn't believe that someone else taught themselves to raise one eyebrow.
It took me seven years to raise my left (your right) eyebrow. And now I do it all the time just to flaunt my mad self teaching skills.
I thought that would be my one defining truly individual act. Meh! I'll just have to go back to doing the Natalie Portman Garden State original word spot movement thing, (if you get what I'm talking about). - At 8/11/2007 10:39 AM, caitlinmae said...
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Carly-
(I have work to do so instead I am reading everyone's blog via Riese's. That's my introduction. OH HI! I'm Caitlin.)
Also, I don't know how you're doing crewwise on the pilot but I am an overeager film major with like, credentials and a burning desire to work on as many TV/Film projects as I can. So, if you need a PA or a boom op or assistant camera or an editor or whatevs, please say hi? cool. I went to film school and have a resume and things I can send you along with my demo reel.
Also- the Hamlet thing is the greatest stealth move I've ever heard of. Hooray for high school. - At 8/12/2007 4:54 PM, carlytron said...
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Super comment replying time!
Razia: Obvs. you have great taste in glasses too.
Bails: Of course you are!
anon: I lived in FL for 7 years so that only fed into my sunglasses addiction, as it was sunny a whole lot there. I don't really need an excuse though. I just love them. Thanks for the TV show love, we are excited too!
Kate: I love lists about anything ... especially about myself. I agree about myspace although I am still un-private and not entirely hating life yet.
Crystal: I feel you, 058. And you are on my myspace, duh. Maybe your taggy thing could include a reference to Bring It On, somehow, cause that's a great movie.
Riese: Duh.
Suzy: Don't worry I really liked your taggy list. A lot. V. insightful.
elec:You posted the rules and nothing else. Lame!
lawlaws: How exciting! I'm not the only person who did that. I think I was like, really young too, probably before high school. I remember sitting in front of the mirror for hours working on it. How odd.
caitlinmae: We're going to start shooting things in September, I think, so you're in! What are you good at? - At 10/13/2007 10:54 AM, said...
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P.S. In 1999, cargo pants were kind of just the norm, regardless of sexual identity or preference. Finding Brandi Chastain (or however you spell her name) hot was not, however. Ew.

